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Heaven and Hell: Joe Pachinko provides a near-perfect picture of real life

 

Review from the February 20, 2004 issue of the Las Vegas City Life

 

 

By Seth Flynn Barkan

 

I'm sitting in a bar as I write this review, annoyed that I've just run out of cigarettes. I've just finished reading Joe Pachinko's magnificently psychotic joyride through drunkenness and misery, The Urinals of Hell (Superstition Street, $10.00). My reward for writing this review comes not in the form of monetary compensation (which CityLife can only dole out in small increments), but in the shot of Jack Daniel's that is sitting in front of me, just out of reach, like a lifeguard to my otherwise sober and responsible alter-ego, which is currently drowning in Pachinko's madness.

 

Why the drunken ceremony? Well, Urinals is kind of like the holy grail of poetry to me. I sift through the useless bullshit published in Poetry and other assorted literary journals and pray to find anything this fresh, rebellious, psychotic, glorious and completely insane. If I could, I would begin reading the book aloud to the strangers who surround me at the bar in a fashion somewhat similar to those guys who prognosticate the end of the world ... but I won't. I'll just take this shot instead. And toast to Pachinko (who contributed a few A&E stories to CityLife in early 2003, prior to my own freelancing).

 

Born in a hospital on Oakland's charming and quaint "Auto Row" (where the elite meet and everyone is happy all the time), Pachinko's back-of-the-book bio has his family members describe him as "a disgusting, alcoholic pervert who smokes faggot cigarettes." Obviously, they get along well. Although I've never met the man, I can't help but agree: Pachinko is the first real, two-fisted, cigarette-clenched-in-teeth poet I've read in ages. The massive tumor of madness that is this book comes from some of the most hard-luck, psychotic desperation since Charles Bukowski. Whether awakening in a bed covered in broken glass (as in his stunning opus to life in hell, "The Ripping of Brain Scabs") or feeding poodles to sharks as he drinks in a shore-side bar in "Slop Tank," Pachinko tells it like it is ... or is not.

 

A major critique of those who've attempted to join the mantel of Bukowski is that, while boozed-out depravation is all-too-common in poetry these days, the genre was run into the ground by Bukowski. I disagree with this assertion. One of the most endearing qualities of Urinals is its phantasmagorical boozed-out trips -- flights of fancy that any desperate lunatic can understand and relate to. Musings like "where do preppies come from?" or "I wonder which purebred puppy will be able to outswim a shark?" really help elevate some of the works in the collection from Bukowski poser-ism to real and accurate expressions of hardcore boozing.

 

Don't get me wrong, though; nowhere does it feel like Pachinko is actually trying to come off as the next Bukowski. Not at all. That's probably why he succeeds at it so brilliantly. While there's not a trace of falsity in the works, there are (in brief moments -- the book is 170-plus pages) some rather self-indulgent sections. Those few moments aside, this book is a truly wonderful, comical, sad and (ironically) poignant picture of a life lived hard.

 

I read somewhere that Bukowski would occasionally disappear from his comfortable life in suburbia to drink and live with the homeless for months at a time. If he were around to read this book, he would curse Pachinko, drink with him, fight him and then pass out on his couch. This is a must-buy for fans of real poetry. Forget the academics. If you want to read a near-perfect portrait of what real life is like, of what real human need and deprivation is all about, then hunt this title down. You can thank me later ... with a shot.

 

Meanwhile, I have to go find some cigarettes.

 

To order The Urinals of Hell, go to www.superstitionstreet.com.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

They don't put snails

 

in the mescal bottle,

 

but they do put in worms,

 

and I sit here in Rosarito

 

eating a worm.

 

Chewing and

 

swallowing

 

and thinking

 

this is good.

 

It's the privilege of the living

 

to eat worms

 

because someday

 

it'll be the other way around.

 

--Joe Pachinko, "Eating Mexican Worms in the Dark"